Could Liking Ohio Football Qualify for Medical Marijuana? Fans Think So

Don’t count on being a Browns or Bengals fan being approved as a qualifying condition for medical marijuana, but at least some amused and beleaguered fans thought it wouldn’t hurt to ask.
It’s hilarious, but true: Some fans with a sense of humor submitted a petition to the State Medical Board requesting that being a fan of the Cleveland Browns or Cincinnati Bengals be considered as a qualifying condition for medical marijuana prescriptions.
“Being a Browns or Bengals fan” was literally listed as one of the 28 “conditions” submitted to the State Medical Board during the 2019 petition window:
- Anxiety
- Anxiety
- Anxiety, Depression
- Anxiety, Depression, Bipolar Disorder
- Anxiety, Depression, Bipolar Disorder, Arthritis
- Asperger’s Disorder
- Autism Spectrum Disorder
- Autism Spectrum Disorder
- Autism Spectrum Disorder
- Bengals/Browns Fans
- Cachexia/Wasting Syndrome
- Chronic Back Chronic Hip
- Depression
- Diabetes, Hypoglycemia, Hyperglycemia, Concussions
- Epstein-Barr
- Gastroesophageal reflux disease
- Generalized Anxiety Disorder
- Generalized Anxiety Disorder
- HIV/AIDS, Parkinson’s
- Insomnia
- Lupus
- Opioid Use Disorder
- Opioid Use Disorder
- Panic Attack and Anxiety
- PTSD, Depression, Anxiety
- Severe Social Anxiety
- Stage 4 Breast Lung Lymph Nodes Cancer
- Traumatic Brain Injury, Chronic Pain
- Those conditions will actually be considered by the State Medical Board’s Medical Marijuana Committee. Their first meeting was in February.
“According to State Medical Board Director of Communications Tessie Pollock, the committee will examine subject matter reviews conducted by physicians and medical marijuana experts before recommending the petitions to the full State Medical Board for a final vote, which is anticipated to take place in the summer.
“Petitions are filed online through the State Medical Board’s website with information that includes any relevant medical or scientific evidence and proof if the recommendation is sufficient enough to treat a specific disease or health condition.”
But don’t hold your breath or expect your losing team will help you qualify for a medical marijuana card from a doctor in Ohio anytime soon. The State Medical Board’s Medical Marijuana Committee plays it pretty straight — even if Browns or Bengals fans think sarcasm works like a field goal.